Well, I know this is probably TMI for any males that read my blog, but if you do read this, I gave you fair warning...
I have had the hardest time with breastfeeding over the past five months. Hudson and I have given each other thrush back and forth five times and now I have mastitis! Yowzers! No one prepared me before I had children as to how difficult breastfeeding could be. I do it because I know it is so good for them, and I honestly love the bonding time with them. That being said, I don't know how much longer I can stick this out! He likes formula, which I offer to him usually once a day. So it seems easier to give up and let him take formula instead of dealing with all of these horrible, painful infections.
I am now taking an antibiotic to get rid of the infection. I was up all night with a horrible case of the fever and chills and my body is so achy and sore, it hurts to even be touched! What the?! Who knew that mastitis would do that to your body! Now I know some of you are probably wondering why in the world I am sharing such personal information... but I look to you mothers out there for help and answers. Any helpful tips to make my breastfeeding experience better?
Thanks in advance for any helpful advice!
(This might get lengthy...And I'm typing this as Lincoln is fussing at the boob.)
ReplyDeleteNo one, unless they have breast fed a child, can appreciate how difficult or stressful or emotional or painful it can be to keep another human being alive on your boobs alone.
Breast feeding Carter was an absolute nightmare - an eleven month long nightmare. Until one day he woke up and said, "yo, mom. i ain't doin' this no more" and I was like "yo carter. i thought you'd never say that". So once he was weened, it was like this dark cloud lifted and we were all happy and stress-free again.
I told myself when Lincoln was born that I would NOT torture myself like that again for another year. If any challenges or difficulties with breast feeding ensued that couldn't easily be overcome, my plan was (and still is) to ween him, quit beating myself up about it and give him the dang bottle of formula.
So my advice is this - do what you, as his mother, think is best. If the stress and pain and emotional toll are just too great, then quit torturing yourself and give him formula and be proud of your decision.
Plus, you've made it five months and that, my friend, is something to be proud of. Really, it is. Because in my eyes, anyone who makes it past the one month mark has conquered the breast feeding demon.
Dear Andrea,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to know that I am not alone in this struggle! And thank you for helping me realize that if I choose to switch to the bottle, that it will not be the end of the world. I struggled with breast feeding with Parker too and once we switched over to the bottle-- we were both happier!
Love,
Erin
P.S. YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST WOMAN ALIVE. I love you. :)
haha, this post does NOT make me look forward to the future of breast feeding. hahaha, I want to do it but we will see how i do. =-) l'm crossing my fingers that it will be ok.
ReplyDeleteErin,
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the babe and the breastfeeding. I had a HORRIBLE time with my first. I had mastitis like eight times and would get painful cloggs every other week for a year. IB Profin really really helped me. I am sure that we had a bad latch thing going on but I was in pain and my baby would take nothing but breastmilk. Good luck. Good thing your baby takes bottles. I never has a single problem ever nursing my second? No idea why.
I TOTALLY agree with Andrea! Even though I never had to deal with that much pain, G and I still struggled. Look at him now! So happy and chunky! You're a great mom and the only one who knows what is best for your child so do whatever you feel is the right thing!
ReplyDeleteYes Erin, you do what you feel is best! You are his mom and know what's best for the both of you! You should be proud you made it this long! Your lucky he takes bottles, that's great! Seems like he will be happy either way. Don't stress yourself out about it, you are an awesome mama! I totally agree with Andrea :) love you Erin!
ReplyDeleteI too had a horrible time breast feeding my baby. I stopped when she was 3 1/2 months. I have been pumping since. It's time consuming but she is still getting the breast milk. Have you thought of pumping? I absolutely love it!
ReplyDeleteOK, I remember looking to Tara for advice when I thought I was gonna die because of the pain of nursing. #5 was the only one I made it nursing past 1 month (we went to 10 months, then my milk dried up).
ReplyDeleteI didn't know what was harder, the pain of nursing, or finally deciding I had to stop. The emotional pain was devastating as well!!!
It was so hard and I remember crying (with all 5) when I did finally stop.
It does get better when you finally make your decision though. It takes a day or so, then you realize that your child is still happy, healthy and maybe even more content.
Do what you feel is best, but just know that life goes on and your sweetheart will still know that you love him, you will still bond with him when you feed him (because you still get to hold him and look into his sweet little eyes). And you will be happy as well, because you will be healthy and probably a little more stress-free.
Love ya Erin!
Wow. I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude for all of your sweet comments. They made me laugh and I'm not gonna lie... I got a little emotional (must be the crazy hormones!) I pumped a lot yesterday which really helped. Hudson nursed really good this morning and it didn't hurt. So things are looking much better! And I am feeling so much better, no more achiness or fever! I'll keep you all posted. Thank you again got taking the time to comment and offer some advice. I am truly blessed with wonderful friends in my life.
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ReplyDeleteHey Erin I know you posted this a few days ago, but I thought I would let you know my story....
ReplyDeleteMy first nursed perfect from day one and I had no problems. The only reason I quit when she was 8 months is because I found out I was pregnant.
My second on the other hand, we had troubles from the get go. I nursed her for about a month and a half. It was a horrible month and a half. Crying from both her and I. SO then I switched to pumping. It was great for a little while, but I felt like pumping/feeding it to her/taking care of everything else with her was taking up all of my time and I still had another child to take care of. After a month and a half of exclusively pumping (so she was 3 months) I was going CRAZY!!!! I really wanted to nurse her or at least give her breast milk in a bottle. I finally talked to my mom about it and she was like if you are so stressed out over this you are not able to be the best mom that you can be and really that is all that your children need. She will still be feed and happy if I give her breast milk or formula. So I came to the realization that formula was the way to go. This still was not easy though. I cried for a long time about it, I felt so guilty. I swear the only commercials that were coming on at the time were Medela commercials....it was awful. BUT my baby was happy and heathy and I was definitely way more relaxed. I was a crazy person about still holding her when she was being feed and not propping her up on something so that we could still get that bonding time and so that made it nice that I could still get that special time with her.
So I guess what this long post is getting to is that you have to do what is best for you and your children, not what other people think or feel is the best, because everyone is different. Hope this helps!!
Erin, I love reading your cute little blog. I also dealt with mastitis with both my babies. I had such strong convictions about the benefits of nursing and tried to stick it out as long as possible. In the end, I decided that formula is heaven-sent!
ReplyDeleteWe're on third round of diflucan and nystatin for that silly thrush passing game. I have no answers, but I feel your pain (literally).
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