Friday, November 1, 2013

Surprise, Surprise...

Yes, you read that right! We are having another baby boy. I decided to keep this pregnancy a secret until we knew the sex and our little bean decided to mess with our heads when finding out the gender. We went to our 17.5 week ultra sound and the tech kept going back and forth, back and forth between boy and girl. It almost gave me an anxiety attack listening to the two ultra sound technicians going back and forth. Apparently, the umbilical cord was between the legs. I left in tears feeling disappointed not knowing. I made an appointment to see my OB the next day to see if he could figure it out. He did the same thing. Back and forth, back and forth. Cord still between the legs! Little stinker! He told us that he thought it was a girl but to come back in 2 weeks to have another ultra sound. Fast forward to Halloween (yesterday) and we get to our appointment, biting our nails not knowing what to expect. He takes a look and said "Yep, looks like a girl. Oh wait... let's take a closer look... that is the cord right there... and that looks like a boy part. Yep, it's a boy! I'm 95% sure it's a boy!" I was then an emotional wreck (please don't judge me by admitting this!) I LOVE my boys more than life itself. They are adorable, happy, affectionate, fun, smart, amazing little boys. I just emotionally and mentally expected it to be a little girl. Parker has been asking me where is sister is for about 2 years now and this whole pregnancy, he has referred to our baby as a girl. Every dream I have had, it has been a girl. I felt awful for even feeling this way and I know that I will love this little boy just as much as my others. I just needed time to process it all.

This morning, as we ate breakfast, I watched my little boys eat their cereal as we talked about what we were going to do for the day. I was filled with gratitude and love for Steve and my growing family of all boys and got excited to have another one to cuddle and love on. My boys tell me I am pretty every single day. They give me kisses, hugs and cuddles and have taught me so much about loving unconditionally. Parker is my protector. He makes sure that the doors are locked and the house is secure when we leave. He reminds me of things that I need to get done like going to the post office or getting certain groceries at the store that I forgot. He makes me laugh every day and amazes me with how smart he is. He loves music and knows more words to songs than I do! I wish I had his memory! Hudson tells me I am pretty every day and nuzzles his face in my neck when he gives me big bear hugs. He has an intense little personality and is a very passionate person. He loves to sing and remembers a song after hearing it once, no joke! He also makes me laugh every day and I love his brown eyes and dimples.

The Lord knows what I need. There is another little boy waiting for his turn in heaven to come to our family and chose Steve and I to be his parents. I feel honored and blessed that I have been given the gift of being a mother to such sweet little boys.

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