Monday, June 6, 2016

News that changed our life

I haven't blogged on this old, dusty thing in years. I figured it was time to start up again to journal and document my thoughts and experiences. I wrote this post three months ago but could never get myself to post it. I am ready to document our journey...

Over the past month, Hudson has been experiencing a lot of pain in his legs. At first, we thought it was because of his fallen arches and flat feet. I ordered him special shoes and orthotics. He started missing soccer practices and games because it hurt too bad for him to run. After every soccer game, he would be down and out for at least a couple days. He was starting to become lethargic and tired and not wanting to walk anymore. Then, two weekends in a row, he had a low grade fever. I knew that something was seriously wrong. We both knew he needed to be seen by a doctor and have blood work done. We weren't sure who to take him to see. I  got the strongest impression that we needed to take him to he emergency room at Phoenix Childrens Hospital. Steve thought that Phoenix Children's Urgent Care right by our house would be better, more affordable and closer. I knew that Urgent Care wouldn't have the equipment and expertise to really figure out the problem. As we couldn't come to an agreement as to where to take him, we knelt down in prayer and asked the Lord to guide us to where we needed to go to help our Hudson. As soon as we said amen and walked down the stairs, my brother-in-law, Aaron, who is a firefighter/EMT and works for Halo called and asked what was going on. He never medals in our business or calls really, so I knew that it was truly an inspired phone call. My family knew of our concern for Hudson and everyone was fasting and praying for him that day. He strongly encouraged us to go to the emergency room. He said PCH was the best, but Cardons Childrens Hospital was closer, so we could go there. He strongly encouraged the ER. As we were leaving, the thought came to my mind to pack a blanket, Hudsons pillow and some protein bars and water. It was going to be a long night. 
Us waiting in the ER at Cardon's Childrens Hospital
After we were seen by a very kind doctor in the ER, he thought it was possibly an infection in his hip, or influenza. He wanted to do blood work to see what it could be. When he came back and reported that influenza came back negative, my stomach dropped. He then told us that his blood work was concerning and wanted to send us to Phoenix Childrens Hospital because their oncology department wasn't accepting any new patients. When he said the world oncology, my heart sank. He gave us his blood work and x-rays to take with us and at 2:30am, we drove to PCH. My dad met us there at 3:30 in the waiting room and waited until 6:30 until he had to leave for work. They wanted to re-do his blood work to make sure that everything was correct. We waited. And waited. And waited in the most uncomfortable chairs I've ever sat on for what seemed like an eternity to see what the final prognosis was. Finally at 7:20 am, one of the fellows in the oncology department came into the room. As we looked at her with tired, worried eyes to see what it was, she told us that it was...Leukemia. My heart stopped. My stomach sank. I sobbed in Steve's chest while trying to muffle the sound while Hudson slept in the hospital bed right next to us. It was the most terrible and surreal moment. It was more of an outer body experience to be more accurate. 

So many thoughts ran through my head. How could this be? My Kid? No. My Hudson boy could not have cancer. Thats for everyone else. Not MY kid! Maybe they were wrong!... No, they were not wrong. Hudson has cancer. It all makes sense. All those times I told him he had to walk as he was begging me to hold him. All those soccer games he struggled to run but pushed through and ran with all his might. The pain in his legs was because he had cancer in his bone marrow. I felt so much guilt. SO much agony. As the doctor continued to explain what Leukemia was, she assured us that it was not our fault. It is not a genetic disease nor is it caused by the environment. It is really a fluke form of cancer but the best form of cancer you can have because it is the most treatable. That was reassuring.

We texted our family and close friends to tell them the news. I couldn't think of how to word it. All I wrote was, "There is no easy way to say this. Hudson has leukemia." That was all I could say. I was in shock and disbelief. It all felt like a bad dream, like I was going to wake up in my bed and turn over to tell Steve about my horrible nightmare and then go on with my perfect life. I kept pinching myself to make sure that it was real life.   

Hudson had to start his first chemo treatment on his 5th birthday, two days after his diagnosis. Sucky birthday right? It was so hard to tell him that he wasn't going to be able to go home for his birthday, or have a party.
This was Hudson peacefully sleeping after his first treatment.
We were blessed and humbled and 100% blown away by the outpouring of love we received from so many people. We were flooded with gifts, cards, texts, emails, surprise visits from Captain America, Darth Vader and other Star Wars characters! The hospital staff was phenomenal and sang him happy birthday while blowing bubbles, gave him presents and showered him with love and attention. It was incredible to see the immense love and goodness in this world.


He liked going to the playroom and doing arts and crafts. It was the only escape from his hospital room. He was so excited to see his favorite teacher, Mrs. Jackson, come to see him at the hospital. They talked about animals in the rainforest and creepy spiders and creatures. It was the first time I really saw him light up in the hospital.
It has now been exactly three months to the day since we took him to the emergency room. I will post more of our experiences soon. We have a lot going on in our lives with Hudsons treatments, building a house and getting ready for the big move and raising our three very active boys.

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