Monday, October 17, 2016

Family Pictures 2016

My beautiful friend, Selena Sorenson with, offered to take our family pictures for us before Hudson's side effects kicked in. I wanted to remember what he looked like with his beautiful dark waves and long lushes eye lashes before the side effects of chemotherapy took them away. The thought terrified me but I knew it was inevitable. Selena was nice enough to take the time out of her busy schedule and drive all the way out to a trail right by our new home to take out pictures. I will treasure them always. Thank you Selena! This meant the world to our family!

 I love these handsome boys. They are my world!

 This picture captures the father/son bond Hudson and Steve have so perfectly. Hudson is definitely a daddy's boy, through and through. It was hard for me in the hospital when Hudson ONLY wanted Steve to do everything for him and would scream and yell at me that he hated me at times when I simply tried to change his clothes after sweating through them. One of the nurses consoled me in the hallway as I bawled my eyes out trying to not be hurt by his behavior. She said that you usually take out your anger on the people you love and feel safe with and its usually the mom unfortunately. It didn't mean the he loved me less than Steve. He just attached more to his dad thought he traumatic experience. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for Steve and his amazing love and devotion to Hudson and the rest of our family. I realized I needed him too and understood why Hudson acted the way he did.

 I hope one day, he will be able to feel and understand the love I have for him. I know this has been hard for him to understand why he has to go through all of this but I know he will understand one day.
 My whole world right there.

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